We now live in a world where a shocking number of people seem willing to see the other side erased. This is not only evidenced by the spate of political assassinations that seem to be developing into a trend, but I think from what we reluctantly know to be the case from the division we see amongst friends and family. Anecdotally, I’d say somewhere around a quarter to a third of the population would, if moral culpability didn’t exist, wish to see the other side of the political spectrum unalived. That’s not a recipe for reconciliation. It’s a recipe for escalation.
Ten years ago, I would have guessed only 5% of people — the fringes of the far-right and far-left — truly believed that neutralizing their opponents was the best way forward. But in the last decade, that percentage has ballooned. What was once fringe is now common, at least in the everyday rhetoric people share. And it’s not just my impression. Research backs it up.
The vast majority of people think that “the other side” is a “clear and present danger” and that it is capable of destroying America.
The growth of hostility
Pew Research has found that the share of Americans with fixed political views has doubled over two decades — from about 10% in the 1990s to over 20% by 2014. This ideological division spills over into the treatment of “the other side”. Studies at the Carnegie Endowment show that affective polarization, i.e., the active dislike of “the other side” has risen steadily.
And Americans themselves recognize what this means. According to the AP-NORC Center, 87% of Americans now see political polarization as a threat to the country. We are ideologically further apart, emotionally more hostile, and deeply weary of the division — and that creates fertile ground for contempt.
We see this passive but enthusiastic hatred every day:
Posting memes that openly cheer when someone they disagree with suffers
Goading and trolling the misfortunes of the other side
Consuming media entirely premised on exploiting these divides
Shunning or detaching from friends or acquaintances who share a different opinion
The effort required for these activities is small, so it’s easy to assume they’re inconsequential. But the fact that they’re happening at all - that someone who is not in politics is taking time out of their life - to deride their political enemies, is a bizarre phenomenon. And these are just the “passive” tier of hostility. And then there are those who cross the final line: turning hate into violence.
From words to violence
This is where the danger becomes undeniable. In the past few years, we’ve seen political violence break into the mainstream of American life:
January 6, 2021: An attack on the U.S. Capitol, driven by partisan rage, intended to stop the certification of an election.
The attempted assassination of Donald Trump at a rally (2024): A moment that instantly became political fodder, from martyrdom on one side to mockery on the other.
The assassination of Charlie Kirk (2025): A murder which, at least some evidence shows, was driven by the assailant’s hatred of the victim’s hatred.
These are not isolated anomalies. They’re the extreme expressions of the same contempt we see every day in online posts and conversations, and among our friends. And just as troubling as the violence itself is the response: each event is immediately politicized. One side calls the victim a hero or martyr; the other insists the attack was deserved, even celebrated. Instead of pulling us together in horror, violence drives us deeper into our trenches, and the next extremist is nurtured.
We probably aren’t going back to the good ol’ days
This is why I don’t believe there’s a way back to civility. Neither political party is incentivized to build bridges. The incentives point only in one direction: demonize the opposition, rally your base, raise money, and consolidate power. Violence reinforces this dynamic.
That’s why I think the idea of a national reconciliation, when we set aside differences for the greater good, is a fantasy. Instead, we’re heading for a future where “us versus them” defines not just politics, but everyday life. It will get worse: more division, more targeted violence, more people openly cheering their opponents’ suffering. Who knows if it ends in collapse. I think it will.
So where does that leave us? If we’re honest, probably in a darker, more fractured place than most of us want to admit. We’re not going to vote or argue our way back to civility. And unless the incentives that drive our politics change, I don’t see a way out.
That doesn’t mean individuals are powerless. On a personal scale, you can resist the cycle. You can refuse to share dehumanizing content. You can call out contempt when you see it. You can choose to treat opponents as people, not as enemies. You can still consider your political opponents friends. You can just be a normal person, like we used to be.
But let’s be honest, will you?